“I hate him and I love him”


If you recognize that movie quote by just that tiny piece, you’re amazing.

I’m sure everyone has felt this way at one point or another. “I hate him and I love him” — it doesn’t even necessarily have to be a “him”. It could be a “her” or an “it”. It could pertain to a person or a thing. “I hate him and I love him”.

It’s an odd statement. How could you love and hate someone/something at the same time? Well, it’s simple really. Depending on the situation, you could hate him/her/it because of something they do/did or maybe because you hate the situation he/she/it put you in. And let’s now start referring to “he/she/it” as a “them” for now.

Maybe, in fact, it’s not them you hate… It’s yourself.

This has been true way too many times for me. I love them, but I hate myself for loving them. It’s a frustrating, tiring, and downright depressing feeling. Well, anyway… This movie quote inspired this next part. A monologue, of sorts, for one of my newest projects.


You had your turn years ago. It’s my turn now. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t think straight. Everything in my life is hazed together. And I think, “What the hell am I doing? What are you doing to me?” You make it so easy to hate you. You frustrate me. I hate you. You make me mad. I hate you. You lead me around in circles. I…really… hate you. But at the same time, it’s so hard to stop loving you. I catch myself reminiscing about the days when things were good. Do you remember? I remember. I remember picking up that camera and photographing you when you were too busy to notice. I remember filming us together. I remember watching you play guitar. I remember you watching me sing and play piano. I remember you teasing me. I remember the way your lips feel. They’re so soft. I remember your smell. I remember walking around wearing your shirt. My favorite shirt. I remember everything. I remember those last moments. The last time we spoke. I remember what you said and that it hurt — that it was the most painful thing I’d ever endured. I remember waking up those days and the first person I thought of was you. I hate you so much. You ruined me. I hate you. I hate you and I love you.

Manchester by the Sea (2017)


This film is downright depressing. But in the most magnificent way.

The Fear of 13


I am a huge fan of murder documentaries for some odd reason and the fact that this documentary had my favorite number in the title… I couldn’t resist.

I saw this amazing documentary directed by David Sington the other day called, “The Fear of 13”. David Sington

It’s about a convicted murderer named Nick Yarris who has been on death row for over two decades and finally decides to ask for an execution. Like any documentary, you get details on his life, find out why he’s on death row, and also why he wants an early execution. Even though the basis is just the same as the rest, the storytelling, however, is not.

Remember those storybooks that our parents used to read to us before bed? The ones with the sound effect words and stuff? That’s how this documentary is told. It’s an immersive story complete with visuals and sound effects. I know that sounds weird but the way it’s shown is perfect. I felt like I was in his shoes experiencing what he was experiencing. I could imagine being in his position — in his mind.

I believe that anyone who wants to make a documentary should definitely watch this film and analyze the cinematography (Clive North), editing (Robert J. Sternberg), storytelling, and the interview set-up itself. I don’t know… Either he’s just a really intruiging person or the film made him seem that way.
Anyway, I don’t want to give away the ending but… It has a marvelous ending.

Netflix Original: The Get Down (32/32)


I am currently watching The Get Down. It’s a time period piece about the tough life in the South Bronx during the 70s. The show focuses on the lives of Zeke, Shaolin, Mylene and their friends and how each of them have a dream they want to achieve.  What I love about this show so far is that I can ask my mom about her experiences back in the day and compare the similarities in the show. For example, Grandmaster Flash is a prominent character in the show. After seeing him DJ at an underground party, I ended up asking my mom if she had ever attended one. 

“All the time”, she said. She even noted that she had seen “all” the DJs from the South Bronx live. I personally think this is so cool! The show already makes me feel like I’ve gone back in time. My moms accounts of the same events are so interesting. 

I’m only on the fifth episode so far but these are amazing episodes. I’m interested to find out what will happen. I’m very impressed with Netflix. I’ll do an update when I’m further along in the show.

All Good Things (30/32)


I have a very big question about this movie… What the heck happened?

All Good Things is about Katie and David Marks, a couple whose relationship progressively gets worse as time goes on. At first, they are very happy together and very much in love. With the pressure from his dad to follow in his footsteps, David starts to feel troubled that he may not really be making Katie happy. After David fulfills his father’s wishes, things take a turn for the worst and it becomes apparent that David may have a few skeletons in the closet.

If you have seen this film, please tell me what the heck happened at the end.

If you have NOT seen it, then go watch it and tell me what you think about the intriguing ending.

How To Wear Horizontal Stripes


Yes. Yes to all of it. Read up.

treasa nuala

Personally I have never shied away from any type of stripe. Being a huge fan of neutral pallets and nautical inspired, stripes have always been something I gravitate towards.

However, I understand some peoples concerns with horizontal stripes and how they draw your eye across the body emphasizing width. Yet I do not believe we should let these widely discussed ideas govern how we dress BECAUSE who is to say that these types of broad ideas are going to hold true to you or me personally. Even if you are curvy, apple shaped or heavier than you wish you were stripes may still suit you. They may match your personality or ascetic. So please give yourself a chance, ignore the “rules” and try the things you like on.

I work with women all the time that love what they see but don’t think they have the body to pull it off. Low and behold…

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The Player (28/32)


If you’ve ever seen The Player (1992) by Robert Altman, then I’m sure you know how amazing it is. From its foreshadowing movie posters to the symbolism in the mise-en-scene, this film knows how to keep its audience intruigued. It had me leaning forward in my seat, feeling like if I had been sitting back, I would miss something important. This thriller is about Griffin Mill, a Hollywood producer, being threatened anonymously by a pissed off writer whom he had rejected some time earlier. Thinking that the only person it could possibly be is a writer named David Kahane, he invites him out to have a few drinks and further discuss his screenplay. The outing goes awry and Griffin ends up killing David — who turns out was the wrong guy. Not only does Griffin now have to hide his secret from the authorities, but he is also still being tormented by the anonymous writer. 

First of all, let’s talk about those movie posters. They are everywhere! Each one is practically screaming, “Read me!” Not only does the camera zoom in on them, but the placement is typically in the background of the characters. It has just enough space to be read, but is still kind of hidden. It sort of feels like a subliminal message. If you watch the movie, then you’ll realize that these posters fit perfectly within the timeline. For example, one of them says, “M — The worst crime of all!” At this point in the movie, you’ll automatically think “murder” — you can guess who is in the shot. 

Hint: When Griffin and David are in the bar, listen to the karaoke song.


I absolutely love the symbolism throughout the movie. It isn’t very noticeable (unless you’re looking for it), which is the best part. While the story progresses, Griffin starts to act crazier and more paranoid. He starts to fall apart. All of this is shown through his dialogue, wardrobe, and personality. His eyes start to look glossy and red, he looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks, and he starts to have outbursts and loses himself. 

Another thing I noticed was that June Gudmundsdottir, a painter and one of the main characters, wears all white (all the time) and paints with white and frost blue colors. She’s very innocent and fresh, in comparison to Griffin, and hasn’t experienced much of Hollywood. Her paintings all seem sad, though, which kind of goes with her personality.

Tim Robbins was the perfect Griffin Mill. I feel like he pulled off his character impeccably. In general, I think they did a great job with the casting (There are so many cameos!). And the ending was awesome. Definitely one of those movies that everyone should see before they die. 

Ghost (25/32)



Part One

The Ghost appeared every time I would leave my house. He is this dark figure that basically just looks like a shadow, but he is very obviously a being of some sort. I would see him down the street, in the reflections around me, or sometimes right in front of my face.

9 Movies Recommended to Me that I Haven’t Seen Yet (24/32)


If you’re like me, then you have a neverending list of movies that have been recommended to you and you just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Here are the first ten movies on this list that I plan to watch before September.

9. A Clockwork Orange

From what I’m told, it’s as disturbing as it is thought-provoking. Apparently, it’s about Alec DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell) and his violent, demented Brooklyn gang. Everything I’ve seen looks really… Messed up.

8. Fight Club

I’ve avoided looking up this movie. I want to be completely surprised when I watch it.

7. Blackfish

This is a documentary about the Orcas in Sea World. It sounds really sad and depressing… This is gonna take me a while to watch… Supposedly, it’s really sad and is strong enough to make people boycott Sea World.

6. Kids

This film just seems disturbing. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through it. Although, it’s supposed to be many actors’ first movie.. So maybe it’s worth giving it a shot.

5. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

I haven’t been told a lot about this film, but I just know that Jack Nicholson goes to this insane asylum. It’s supposed to be really interesting. I would love to watch it.

4. Dog Day Afternoon

Seeing as I love Al Pacino, it was inevitable that this film would be recommended to me. I hear it’s really amazing and that I would absolutely love it.

3. Reservoir Dogs

This is Quentin Tarantino’s first movie and I’m very disappointed in myself that I haven’t seen it yet… But anyway, it’s about a heist that goes wrong and basically, you don’t know who’s telling the truth. It’s kinda like a whodunnit, I guess. Can’t wait to see this one finally.

2. Funny Games

I can’t believe I haven’t seen it… I missed my chance while it was on Netflix. I don’t even know which one to watch at this point — 1997 or 2007. I’m fine with either one. I’ve been so excited to see this because it’s pretty much what I’ve always feared. I would hate to be tortured by my own neighbors who are seemingly friendly at first…

1. American Movie

I just heard about this documentary a few weeks ago and it is very prominent on my to-watch list. I actually tried earlier today but since my computer was freezing up (or rather, overheating…) I wasn’t able to. So at least I tried. I think American Movie is supposed to inspire filmmakers like myself… Hopefully I can watch it very soon.

We Are Our Own Monsters (22/32)

blog, Film

“Know thyself we do not” – Guillermo Del Toro.