Wait

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I sometimes feel alone like I’m the only person in the world. The people around me may as well be creatures — unable to speak or respond to me in an understanding way. But it’s not like I speak to them, anyway. I feel crazy sometimes because it’s like I’m ready to explode or implode or whatever someone does whenever they keep a million things to themselves. I was supposed to leave my hometown and make a name for myself but what good is a name if there’s no one to remember it. And I may just be blabbering on and on about nonsense but this is what I have been thinking. My mind is running a million miles an hour and there’s no braking. No stopping. I feel trapped in my own mind and I feel like I’m going to burst. I miss those happy days when I was a child just being who I wanted to be without anyone telling me I can’t. I miss when I was encouraged to just go and be. Just be. I miss that. No one thinks that way when you get older. I am 22 now and I feel like I know less about myself than when I was just a babe. How is that possible? How are we supposed to “grow” as people but then the more we grow, the less we know.

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